Desires / Future / Heart

Wrestling with God: Problem #1

We don’t wrestle merely for things we want,  we wrestle for things we believe God doesn’t want us to have.

I really wish I didn’t write this. Actually, what I really wish is that my heart wasn’t this way: torn between what I want, what I should want, and what I think I should want. And sometimes I have no clue if those really are all different or if by some miracle they are the same.

Either way, it shows that I doubt God.

Reasons why God doesn’t want me to have X:

  • He sees how irresponsible I was/am with the previous gift.
  • He knows how badly I’ve sinned.
  • I don’t deserve it.
  • That’s not his plan for me.
  • He actually has something better for me – and it’s probably somewhere in Africa labeled under ‘Missionaries are better Christians.’
  • I’m not ready for it.
  • God is just a meany.

First of all we were already given the greatest gift. The gift of Christ, his death, his life, his rule. And that’s not touché, that’s tremendous. Before any questions as to why he might not be giving us X we have to remember how incredible it was to give Christ to undeserving sinners.

And if He did not hold back his own son, how will he not give us everything! (Romans 8:32) This verse is almost always read at an extreme – either there’s a charismatic showing off pictures of his new car, or a staunch southern Baptist flipping through a slide show of war torn villages. Either the everything is now or only in heaven. But honestly, we’re not too concerned with everything, only that one thing. Certainly the one thing we want is a much smaller request than everything.

Than what’s the hold up? I’m sure there are personal factors in every case. Every request, even if it sounds the same, is unique to God because its coming from an individual. An individual he created, no, an individual he crafted. A person he shaped, both inside and out. A living being God once poked his fingers into, leaving his fingerprint upon our soul and mind and heart. He went through his tool box and only chose the best materials. He labored over our existence, placed us within time and space precisely, and then breathed life into our being – lip to lip, he woke us up.

He doesn’t want us to have X, that’s laughable. Instead, relish in the God we serve and two things will happen.

  • X won’t seem so important.
  • God will seem a whole lot closer.

But we haven’t even begun to wrestle yet.

What are some reasons you believed God didn’t want you to have X?


6 thoughts on “Wrestling with God: Problem #1

  1. Think of yourself as having been designed for a specific purpose. In order to fulfill this God given destiny there is a very specific role you must play. If God were to give you that which you want you may veer from that course, whether on purpose or unknowingly.

    Go enjoy the feeling of the wind and sun on your skin and love God for the gift of life and eternal salvation.

  2. this was great. i laughed at “God is a meanie” part. Sadly I’ve actually thought that before. Now I realize it’s just foolishness! God is GOOD, God is SO good and I can’t fully comprehend it because I’m judging God’s goodness according to human goodness which is pretty tainted.

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